Archive for the ‘Optimism’ category

Life Coach Lesson: Understanding Your Internal Border Patrol

January 29th, 2013

Border Patrol Image - smExcerpt from LIES That Limit: Uncover The Truth Of Who You Really Are

Through conditioning we blind ourselves to the best of who we are.  We become untrusting, too busy, too intellectual, too committed to rules and ideas that, in the end, don’t serve our growth or expand awareness of our Spirit and Purpose. We collude with the internal Border Patrol, limiting our self-expression and access to what is best and right for us.  We become too afraid to touch our core, our Spirit, our own divine nature.

What’s in the way of accessing your true nature?  LIES – Labels, Illusions, Excuses and Stories.  You allow LIES – the cultural story about what’s true, real, and important – to come between you and your Spirit.  LIES dull the connection to your core and your calling.  LIES enforced by The Border Patrol make you afraid to let your Spirit rule your life, guide your actions and decisions, and keep you aligned with the truth of who you really are.

Convincingly, The Border Patrol will say, “If you start talking about this weird, woo-woo stuff, you’ll lose everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve and acquire.”  The Border Patrol will persuade you to stay out of that foreign territory of Spirit and Purpose and keep your feet planted firmly on the ground.  It will tell you to leave all that nonsense alone, and threaten you with, “If you don’t, you’ll become an outcast, ridiculed and humiliated for your beliefs – rejected by the people who love you.”

Adopting the ways of the world, what you mistakenly call life takes center stage.  Your connection with your core Self is lost.  Soon, you forget you’re the creative force in your life.  You give up authorship.  You lose faith in your ability to be sure of who you are, why you’re here, and what’s right for you.  The controlling, self-sabotaging power of The Border Patrol takes the driver’s seat in your mind.

The Border Patrol is expert at generating fear of losing love.  In reality, no one could ever love you less than this internal agent of oppression.  When speaking to you, The Border Patrol’s words seem logical, make sense and sound reasonable and protective.  After all, you don’t want to jeopardize your safety and security.  But, what you don’t understand is its cunning, loveless nature.  Blindly, you yield to the authority of The Border Patrol, agreeing to live LIES in exchange for a false sense of security.

Talk about selling your soul to the devil!

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Happy YOUR Year!

January 1st, 2013

2013 Going Forward ListLike every year in your life, 2013 is YOUR YEAR.  It’s sure to bring you multiple opportunities to live with a clear mind, a grateful heart, and look forward to the next steps on your journey with joy-filled anticipation.

The start of the new year is the perfect time for Intentional Reflection.  Purposefully look back on the year that has passed to set the stage for moving forward to the year ahead. Here are a few thoughts to guide your process.

Assess YOUR YEAR – 2012 – by making two lists:  a Grateful For and a Going Forward list

On your Grateful For list, note all the good you experienced, all the goals you accomplished; list everything for which you’re grateful.  Because we sometimes lose sight of how truly fortunate we are and how much good is ours, you very well may be surprised at the content and length of your list.  Your Grateful For list is a reminder of how wonder-full your life is everyday.

On your Going Forward list, include whatever you’re longing to experience; want to try your hand at, improve, strengthen or add to your repertoire and skill set.  Be honest with yourself.  Note only that which speaks to your heart’s desire and is calling for fulfillment.  Jot down one or two things you’re truly committed to adding to your Grateful For list, on or before December 31, 2013.  Let this year – your year – be the year you take steps to satisfy your deepest longings.  These longings are your Spirit and Purpose calling for attention and fulfillment.

As you move into your 2013, empower yourself with the knowledge that you are the creative and defining force in your life.  Through the beliefs you hold, the thoughts you think, the emotions and feelings you experience, and your daily behavior choices, you shape your life.  That being so, you have the uncontested ability and power to make your life more like you want it to be.

Intentional Reflection and Conscious Choice are tools that can help you identify self-limiting beliefs, release outdated patterns of behavior and make more effective choices – choices that result in greater self-awareness, personal power and success.  Intentional Reflection and Conscious Choice lead to Transformational Change that will help you live better, and more effectively interact with the people who look to you for trustworthy friendship and leadership

May your Grateful For list delight you.  May your Going Forward list honor the call of your Spirit and align with your Purpose.  May Intentional Reflection and Conscious Choice help you make your year one that touches your Spirit, speaks to your sense of Purpose and enhances your effectiveness in every area of your life.

You can learn more about the powerful possibilities of Intentional Reflection, Conscious Choice and Transformational Change in LIES That Limit:  Uncover the Truth of Who You Really Are.

Happy YOUR Year!

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The Post-Sandy Gift of Rumi’s “The Guest House”

November 27th, 2012

Many of you wrote in response to last week’s post, “Hurricane Sandy: My Personal Pivot Point.”  Your words were kind.  Your offers of help were genuine and generous.  You opened up your homes, extending an invitation to visit, escape the chaos and rest.  And, knowing that you’re praying for us, enveloping us in loving thought, is uplifting.  Thank you!

One message I received contained an inspirational piece of Rumi’s writing.  I sat with it for quiet a while, feeling into its meaning, acknowledging its depth and significance.  I share it with you, hoping it sparks a flame of recognition within you.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
 
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
 
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
 
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
 
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Rumi ~

From The Essential Rumi, versions by Coleman Barks

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On Who’s Shoulders Do You Stand?

November 20th, 2012

Thanksgiving is a beautiful holiday – a day of appreciation for the amazing legacy I’ve inherited and the abundance with which I’m blessed.  With heart-felt gratitude, this Thanksgiving season, I’m reflecting on and appreciating the many people on whose shoulders I stand.  Their lives and contributions have eased my path.

I’ve been the beneficiary of the hard work, achievements, scrimping and saving, sacrifices, inventions, services, risk-taking, genius and generosity of all who’ve come before me, and those who are here with me now.  I’ve benefitted from:

  • those who have loved me and those who didn’t.
  • from good fortune and misfortune.
  • from opportunity and its absence.
  • from trusted friends and valuable enemies.
  • from times of expansive joy and wonder.
  • from times of contraction, sadness and loss.

With every event comes an opportunity to mine it for gold.  Used well, whatever happens helps me learn, grow and evolve.  For each opportunity, I’m thankful.  Everyone I’ve ever met, and those I’ve known and loved for a long time, have all helped me, hoisted me up, even some who may have imagined they were holding me down.  I stand on their shoulders with reverence, respect and gratitude.

Alone, I do nothing.  Alone, I’ve created nothing.  Alone, I’ve accomplished nothing.  The Unconditional Love of God, the clear Guidance of Spirit, the love of those who parented and raised me, the generous spirit of those who pray for me, and the kindness of those who think and speak well of me.  All of these people support me.  Their positive energy and intentions fuel and sustain me; they help me to be buoyant and resilient.  Be they my predecessors or contemporaries, my good ideas are stimulated by their great work and way of being.  For all, I’m grateful.  To all, I say, “Thank You!”

No matter where you are in the world, taking time to reflect on that for which you’re thankful, and remembering those on whose shoulders you stand, is a good investment of time and energy.  You don’t need a special holiday to celebrate and honor all of the good, wonderful people who have lifted you, and the more than adequate supply with which you’ve been gifted.

Continually, make Thanksgiving an everyday practice.  Honor those on whose shoulders you stand – those who have come before you and paved your path in significant and subtle ways.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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You Already Have What You Need To Live Your Dreams

September 25th, 2012

I’ve shared over the last few weeks that through the magic of mirror neurons, you can dance like Beyoncéread minds and change the people around you.  After this final installment, you’ll know how to put mirror neurons to use to achieve your goals!

Scientific data suggests you already have within your mind the tools you need be more of what you want to be – more successful, higher performing, purpose driven, inspiring, admired and committed to your personal and professional growth.  Knowing you have these tools and putting them to  use will also have an enormous impact on your self-esteem and sense of confidence.  Need a dose of that today?  Just keep reading.

Mirror neurons, special cells in the brain, allow you to improve your performance by rehearsing an action or scene in your mind.  Whether it’s a sensitive conversation you need to have with a colleague or friend, an important presentation, your golf swing or that new piece of piano music you’re learning, without lifting finger, you can get better.  Professional athletes and others who understand the creative power of their minds have used this technique so successfully that it’s a standard in elite training systems.

Because observation of excellence improves performance, top performers watch those who are the best in their field.  They watch and learn, mirroring in their minds what they’re witnessing.  They perform the act while watching it being carried out by someone else.  In other words, “If I see you do it, I mentally do it, too.”  Imagining your self perfecting a skill is just as effective as observing known experts perform at their best.

If you’re interested in achieving the extraordinary, these findings about mirror neurons confirm the value of giving thought to your vision, daily and moment-to-moment.  Literally rehearse your new skill or improved life circumstance.  Feel it, think about it and act as if it’s real today.  Do it all in our mind.  Doing it internally will help it become your external reality.

Put your mirror neurons to work in service to your dreams and goals.  Mental practice, visualization and imagery are all part of the elite performer’s secret of success and self-mastery.  You can make it a part of yours, too.

Learn more about mirror neurons:

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100% Full Proof Guaranteed Way to Instantly Reduce Stress

July 31st, 2012

Guest Blog by Kyle Ruffin

One day, I found myself, as I often do, staring with anger at a woman in the supermarket who was wearing an outfit that was absolutely inappropriate for her.  Not only was it too tight, it was clearly designed for a girl half her age.   I stared and stared, while my mind devised insults that would put this woman in her place once and for all.  If I could just say the right words to her, she’d thank me, run home and set this outfit, and no doubt other hideous attire in her closet, on fire.  But of course, that was the least likely outcome.  So why was I investing so much emotion in this complete stranger?

How many times a day do you find yourself in this state of mind?  Working yourself up over a total stranger or a situation that you either can’t control or doesn’t concern you?  When you do, your blood pressure goes up.  Your chest tightens.  Your heart starts racing.  The tension in your face and around your eyes intensifies.  Your forehead pinches so much that your eyebrows feel like they might touch.  We ALL do it.  Waste valuable time and expend angry emotion that benefits no one – especially not ourselves.

We live in a society where passing judgment is truly our favorite pastime.  My guess is that’s what makes Reality TV so popular.  We can sit on the couch and legitimately judge the ridiculous actions of someone who will have no impact on our lives what so ever.  Why do we even care if the Bachelorette sleezes her way through the latest batch of men?  Or another has-been TV star has fallen from grace into the clutches of dysfunction.

We’ve been judging others for so long and we do it so often that it’s a reflex.  Experts (and I’m no expert) would probably say it’s a hold-over from the human evolutionary period when we needed to make snap judgments about whether the approaching thing was going to eat us.  In most cases today, it serves no purpose.  Admittedly, there are situations where it’s good to size someone up before they can do us harm.  When it comes to superficial judging, we’re better off without it.

I’ve consciously decided to turn the tide by taking control of my mind and emotions in this area.  In the same way people use Mindfulness techniques to reduce stress, I’m using these techniques to stop judging others.  Since judging is such an involuntary reaction, it’s very hard to head it off at the pass, but as soon as I realize what I’m doing, I just stop.  Instantly, I feel the tension melt away.  My shoulders lower.  My chest unclenches. My disposition lightens and I sometimes even find myself smiling ever so slightly – finding humor in the ridiculousness of self-righteous stance.

Kyle Ruffin

Kyle Ruffin

Give it a shot.  I guarantee you’ll feel the difference.

There are plenty of legitimate reasons to pull out the judgment card.  So, if that heart-racing, brow-squinching feeling is something you crave, just wait a few minutes.  Real danger is bound to present itself.

 

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NEW Website for Spirit of Purpose Community

July 10th, 2012

Today, I’m happy to announce, we’ve launched the new Spirit of Purpose™ website.

This new dynamic website is where our community can come together and learn more about how they can Live Better Now!   It is a place where you’ll find encouragement to make conscious choices that will lead to authentic, lasting growth.

The Spirit of Purpose™ mission is to build a vibrant, active, passionate community of people who are committed to Self-awareness, Self-acceptance and Self-mastery as a path to a better life.  Guided by a process of intentional reflection and conscious choice, we support you in making changes that transform your life – changes aligned with your deeper self.  Your real Self.

You become a Spirit of Purpose™ when you take your blinders off and lift the veil of LIES™ (Labels, Illusion, Excuses and Stories) in your life.  This is the topic of my first book “LIES That Limit: Uncover the Truth Of Who You Really Are” which is the initial step on the never-ending journey to becoming your authentic Self, knowing and embodying your truth.

The new website will host the same great blogs that have been available on the LIES That Limit™ site.  We invite you to subscribe via RSS, Facebook or Twitter so you won’t miss any of the inspiration shared daily.  And we welcome guest bloggers interested in helping others through telling the stories of their life lessons learned.  We invite you to share how you let go of limiting LIES™ and became the Spirit of Purpose you were born to be.

The Spirit of Purpose™ website also offers a toolkit filled with life changing opportunities – the newest of which is “Sacred Circles.”  This one-on-one or group program opens the door to knowing and being your real Self.  Your SACRED Self!  Take advantage of this rare opportunity and join other committed seekers, all walking their path toward Self-realization.

Core Energetics therapy and personal coaching are two additional tools that will help you live and lead with a Spirit of Purpose™.  Contact us at info@spiritofpurpose.com to schedule your consultation and take the next step on your path to wholeness.

Please take a look around our new website and let us know what you like, and how we can improve it to help you reach your goals.  It’s a working, changing site for a growing and thriving community of Spirits with Purpose.  We welcome your feedback!

In honor of your limitless possibilities,

 

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How to Connect With You Inner Wisdom

April 24th, 2012

In this month’s O Magazine, Oprah asked a number of readers, “What do you appreciate most about getting older?”  While I enjoyed each woman’s response, Azadeh Reza Mercado said, “Finding, hearing and listening to my inner voice.”

Her response reminded me of last week’s blog about hearing your true voice, not the myriad of voices in your head – your mother’s, your 1st grade teacher’s, your older sister’s, the minister or rabbi’s, your girlfriends’, or the thing you read most recently – but the truth that comes from the deepest part of who you really are.  Like Ms. Mercado, I am thankful for the ever-present voice within that communicates with me.

In a recent conversation with a client, I said, “I treasure the clarity and peace I receive from hearing from the wise one within me.”

She then asked, “How do you know it’s your inner voice and not just some other voice in your head?”  Her question made me think.

I told her that the voice of my inner self – my guide and counselor, my higher self – always leaves me feeling calm, clear and certain.

Truly, for me, it’s that simple.  When I connect with my inner guide, I shift from unrest to feeling at ease.  I morph from confusion about what I feel, think or need to do or say into clear confident being.  All the tension in my shoulders disappears.  The dull ache in my head evaporates.  The tightness and churn in my gut settles down.  I breathe a full, deep, unrestricted breath.  In this way, my body is a good barometer.  It recognizes and accepts the powerful truth and wisdom of my higher self.

Maybe you’ve experienced this after turning down an invitation to something that you just didn’t want to attend, or you found a creative solution to a nagging problem.  Or maybe the calm came after you stood your ground where you’d normally give in.  The result – you got just what you wanted, what you needed.

The wise one within you is continually trying to connect with you, to serve you.  She wants to ease your burdens, answer your questions, guide you through tough decisions and help you find the easiest path to your next destination.

Like Azadeh Reza Mercado do you value and trust what you hear from within?  If you don’t have a solid relationship with your inner self, if you aren’t sure you’d know her if she came to your front door or if you’ve never considered this question, there are easy steps you can take to test the waters.

The first critical step is acknowledging that you want to.  Then, once a day, or once a week, take the time to interact and engage.  Ask questions to which you’d like answers.  Start with a simple question like, “How should I approach my co-worker/friend/mother-in-law about an issue I’m having.”  Then, look and listen for a response.  The answer may come through a book, another person, a dream, a sudden knowing, etc.  Or say to your higher self, “I’m here to listen.  Speak to me.”

Then, sit and wait patiently.  Words, images, feelings, ideas, thoughts will come into your awareness.  The more you listen for and accept the messages that come to you, the easier it is to hear her whispers.

Listening and hearing takes practice.  In order to trust what you hear and receive, a leap of faith may be required, particularly early on.  You may find that you have to decide to suspend disbelief and, through an act of faith, accept that what you’re hearing is credible and trustworthy.

Ask, listen and trust what you receive. Consciously choose to connect with your inner voice, your internal and eternal wisdom.

 

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Guest Blog: “I” Will Always Be the Center Of Your Universe

March 27th, 2012

By Guest Blogger Kyle Ruffin

“Self.”  The center of your universe.  No matter how selfless you are or how controlled by others you feel, “I” am at the center of everything you know, love, hate, experience.  There’s no denying it.

Some times I find myself wondering if the world is passing me by.  So many others seem to be out enjoying life, making a difference, making millions, getting ahead, being happy.  I read somewhere that we tend to compare our entire selves to other people’s highlight reels.  That sentiment has helped me put life in perspective.

Just because I’m not skydiving at this very moment doesn’t mean I’m not experiencing something that is valuable – valuable to me.  Writing this right now is who I am – I love to write.  Even when I’m giving myself to others, I’m doing it because of what I get out of it – fulfilling a selfish need to contribute to a better world.  A better universe beyond what I can see.

My struggle comes with accepting a new identity – one of caregiver.  I never had the desire to be a caregiver.  People who want and have kids – in my mind, those are loving caregivers.  They live to care for others and it shows.  Since I never wanted to have or never had children, I didn’t see myself as a person with the skills and nature to care for others.  But, that all changed with my mother’s stroke.  Suddenly, I went from independent agent with a thriving career – the person I always saw myself becoming – to having someone depend on me for every basic need.  At 48, I became a parent – a caregiver for someone who could no longer live without being constantly attended to by others.  And the identity I worked on, nurtured, sacrificed for was no longer my primary self-image.  That made me sad.

The struggle with my new role still rages inside of me.  Some days I’m resentful.  Some days I’m frustrated.  Some days I’m angry.  And some days I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished – especially when I make my mother laugh, even though what we’re going through is far from amusing.

The strange thing to me is when others say – you’re amazing for what you do for your mother.  Particularly since I spend every day beating myself up for all the things I don’t do for her rather than taking pride in all the things I do.  Sabatoging my happiness because it doesn’t look like I thought it would.

“I need to be a better daughter,” I recently said to my husband as we were walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City searching for the place that as a child we ALWAYS bought fudge so I could bring some home to my mother.  He looked at me curiously and said, “You’re not serious, are you?”  Oh yeah…he only sees my highlight reel – not the dialogue in my head or even the many, many moments of great angst that come with this new territory.  And this is the person who most closely witnesses me in my new role.

My ongoing homework is to refrain from denying my “self” – the “self” that is always evolving and that at its core is good.  I have a choice.  I can feel sorry for my latest “self” or I can be proud of my “self” even in roles that I never imagined my “self” in.  “I” am still the center of my universe – no matter what or who orbits around me.

The same goes for the “I” in YOU.

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How to Journal Your Truth and Inspire Others

January 17th, 2012

Since LIES That Limit hit the market, many of you have asked, “What other products do you have available?”

Well, we heard you.  Today, I’m happy to announce that in addition to the executive coaching, keynote addresses and customized workshops that comprise the core Spirit of Purpose®  offerings, we now have two new products:

“Journal Your Truth” and Transform Your Life

Journaling will help you to get to know your deeper Self better, solve your toughest problems, strengthen your intuition and creativity, and document your story.  Journaling is a great way to clear your mind, reduce stress, sort through the issues and conflicts in your life, and develop a solid plan of action for moving forward.

The Journal Your Truth notebook will help you align your head and your heart.  When your thoughts, feelings, energy and intentions are aligned, you become a powerhouse.  Consciously aligning energy and intentions makes the “Law of Attraction” work for you.  Journaling clears away the energetic drag of doubt, fear, worry, anxiety and negativity.

If you’ve read LIES That Limit, you know that at the end of each chapter there is a section called, “Journal Your Truth.”  It contains questions designed to help you apply the content of the chapter to your life.  This journal is the perfect place to document your Self-exploration and its a safe place to bare your soul and bear witness to YOUR truth.   Sometimes, you even hide the truth from yourself.

Use this tool as little as 10 minutes a day to practice the art of intentional reflection, and you’ll find yourself making better, more empowered decisions.  Intentional reflection enables conscious choice and conscious choice will transform your life.

Inspire Your Circle of Friends and Family With Spirit of Purpose® Notecards

The next tine you reach for a notecard to send someone – celebrating an accomplishment, acknowledging a milestone, emboldening their courage, helping them get back on track, supporting their decision – send a Spirit of Purpose® notecard. Each package contains 10 beautifully designed notecards with one of 5 life-affirming messages from the book LIES That Limit.  Inside each card is beautiful white space waiting for the special, personal message you want to share.

Special Limited Time Offer:  Book Club Bundle

For a limited time, we’re offering a FREE journal or set of notecards with any purchase of 10 or more copies of LIES That Limit: Uncover The Truth Of Who You Really Are.  Put LIES That Limit on your 2012 Book Club list.  It will stimulate life-changing discussion, and give you and your entire group real, simple and  attainable tools to Live Better Now.

LIES That Limit also makes a great gift for family, friends and co-workers who are in transition, or who need to examine the things that are standing in the way of a happy, fulfilling and exhilarating life.

Welcome to a new year of positive change in your life and the lives of the people you care so much about!  

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