Archive for the ‘Parenting’ category

Life Coach Lesson: Finding Value In Complaints

March 12th, 2013

ComplaintsThere is wisdom in turning a welcoming ear to complaints, in listening to negative comments – whether at home or in the workplace.  Why?  Because, like it or not, those complaints and grumblings are feedback, most probably based on a germ of truth and, certainly, they hold the seeds of a solution.

Listen carefully and objectively.  Your next big business-improvement or relationship enhancement idea could be dished out by a dissatisfied customer or friend, given to you by a grumbling employee or family member, or a complaining colleague or loved one.

As you listen, instead of responding defensively and justifying your actions or position, ask yourself:  what grain of truth is in his complaint?  What’s her dissatisfaction pointing out that I need to see more clearly and address constructively?

Don’t be put off by negative feedback.  Explore it.  You could unearth an idea, though yet disguised as a complaint, that just might enhance your profit picture and your life.

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What Will You Give This Holiday Season? Experiences or Things?

December 4th, 2012

This idea of giving experiences rather than things is evergreen, and especially relevant this time of year when so many of us honor the spirit of gift giving.

On a recent flight I sat next to an interesting, energetic woman, Sue Ann.  She and her husband were headed off to explore another location on their bucket list:  the beaches and vistas of St. Thomas.

“Seeing all of our beautiful country is a goal we set a long time ago,” she said.

Easy to talk with, we conversed the entire flight from Miami to St. Thomas.  Sue Ann told me about her early life growing up in rural Arkansas; her career as an ICU nurse; they way she and her husband partnered to build his business and financial security; the way they raised their son; the pleasure they take in their two grandchildren; and the way they spend their lives today, including the upcoming holiday.  She lit up when she told me the story of her family’s Christmas tradition.

She began by explaining, “We always gave Joe everything he needed – lots of love, a comfortable home where he could bring his friends, clothes, a few toys, a good education and our time and attention.  But, from the time he was little, at Christmas, on his birthday and other important occasions, we didn’t give him toys or more clothes, we tried to do things with him – things that would create memories and stories he could tell.  A lot of what we did didn’t even cost much.”

Sue Ann and her husband, Tom, gave Joe experiences instead of things.  They chose the longer lasting, more enduring option of shared time and involvement that makes memories that can last a lifetime.

She talked about trips to the city, the zoo, historical sites and museums.  Camping trips to beautiful locations.  Plays and concerts.  County fairs and carnivals.  Fishing trips.  Amusement parks.  Botanical gardens.  Skating, skiing, hiking.  Sporting events – community and professional.  Touring other cities.  Visiting national monuments.  As an added treat, on many occasions they allowed Joe to bring along friends.

Her family tradition fits perfectly with my belief that gifts of experiences are more memorable and impactful than things, particularly things that don’t fulfill a specific need.  I’ve written about this giving gifts vs. things before. I was even interviewed on TV about it.

This long-held view – that experiences are better than things – was validated by research published in a Psychology Today article that suggested we get greater satisfaction out of “experiences” than “things.”  It referred to a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology that said people have an easier time choosing between experiences than they do choosing from a variety of material items.

If giving experience is not a part of your holiday and birthday tradition, consider adding it.  You can give experiences instead of things or do both.  Experiences create shared memories and give people stories to tell.  They live longer in the minds and emotions of recipients than things do.

This is the season of love, hope, peace and generosity.  I hope yours is safe and joyous.

Enjoy!

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Want to Change the People Around You?

September 18th, 2012

LIES That Limit discusses culture – familial, racial, religious, regional, national, etc. – Each has its intended and unintentional impact in the way culture is passed on, not only through the rational, spoken messages we receive, but also through invisible, energetic exchanges.  Now, I understand such transmissions to be the magical work of mirror neurons.  Now, that’s cool!

Mirror neurons provide clues as to how culture is transmitted and why it’s so hard to change.  Because we mimic what we see, we tend to keep doing what we see those around us doing.  We imitate what we observe, making our behavior clearly and easily influenced by those around us.  People who live together, work together, play together, hang out together begin to act, sound, feel and think alike.  Our behavior tends to be a reflection of what we see.  The same is so for those around us.

With every feeling you experience, every intention you hold, and every action you take, you’re having a significant affect on others.  Your feelings, thoughts and behavior stimulate the same thoughts, feelings and behavior in those around you, through the action of their mirror neurons.  They can read your thoughts, feelings and intentions.  To extend the logic, the more consistently you engage in a certain behavior, carry a certain feeling and intention, the more likely you are to shape or contour – influence – the behavior of others.

At home, leading by example is more than a catch phrase or way to keep kids from behaving badly.  Mirror neurons are another argument for walking the path you want your children to walk — which is infinitely more effective than, “do as I say.”  Often you hear parents wonder, “Where on earth did she pick that up?”  Now we know there’s a chemical reaction that shapes these behaviors. Actions you take that you don’t think your kids pick up on or that you might not be aware of are working their way into your children’s brains.

If you work in an organization – on a team or lead a group – you can positively affect the culture by maintaining a positive pattern of feeling, thought and behavior.  Your consistent, repetitive behavior will impact the mirror neurons of those around you and they will, sooner or later, begin to reflect back to you what they’ve experienced.

To change the culture of your organization or your household, hold firm and stay the course.  As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see…” and notice how others will eventually mirror back to you your beliefs and behavior.

Learn more about mirror neurons:

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You Can Read Minds

September 4th, 2012

Here’s a bit of information about yourself you may not have known.  It can support your professional development, up your Emotional Intelligence – and boost your self-esteem.

You can read minds!  Did you know that?  And, in all fairness, you need to know that others can read your mind, too – your thoughts, feelings and intentions.  According to Giacomo Rizzolatti, we’re born with the ability.

In a New York Times article, “Cells That Read Minds,” Rizzolatti and other neuroscientists describe a special class of brain cells responsible for this ability.  They’re called mirror neurons.  Their discovery provides insight into how you learn to walk, talk, smile; why you can understand how others feel and empathize with them; why you like sports and the arts; the intangible way culture gets passed on from generation to generation; and why the kind of media you watch and interact with really does matter.

Dr. Rizzolatti points out what most of us know at a gut level:  understanding the actions, intentions and emotions of others is central to our survival and sense of safety.  We have the ability to understand what others are thinking, feeling and what they may do based not on rational thought, but on feelings.  This fascinates me because, intuitively, I’ve always known this to be true.  In fact, LIES That Limit discusses the constructive and destructive aspects of being tuned in to what others are thinking and feeling, and the impact it can have on the choices we make.    Now, science provides additional evidence to prove the point.

Pay close attention; your psychic ability may just be the by-product of active mirror neurons.  Given your natural ability to anticipate what others are thinking, feeling and are about to do, you can work at better understanding where they’re coming from and why.  Here’s an example:  on a recent flight, squeezing into the seats next to me were two people who I assume to be a mother and her thirteen to fourteen year old son.  From their conversation, it seemed they were coming home from a trip abroad…so lots of time together, in close quarters – airplanes, hotels, restaurants, etc.

As they fell into the seats, the mother began speaking to her son in a way that felt like yelling, to me.

“You always do that.  I told you to stop.  You’re rude and embarrassing.  I told you not to behave that way.  It’s not nice.  I don’t want to have to tell you again.  Don’t push people or push your way through crowds.  Wait your turn.  Have I not told you this before?!  I’m tired of telling you about your behavior.”

On and on, she went.  I felt badly for the young man.  Having been the child of a mother who, out of a sense of responsibility for raising a well-behaved child, had no qualms about public chastisement, I felt for him.  I looked deeply into the pages of my book to avoid his eyes.  I imagined, or sensed, he was feeling humiliated at the public dress-down he was receiving.  Sitting next to me, I was aware of his breathing and, peripherally, his icy, frozen stare, eyes locked straight ahead.  He was doing so to control himself – to not yell back or strike out.

After she quieted down, I thought about the mother and wondered why she felt the need to speak to her son so harshly, and with many strangers bearing witness.  I went into my “Why is she doing this!?!”  The more I pondered the question/judgment, the more I could sense her thoughts and feelings, too.  The awareness that came floored me.  This woman was TERRIFIED that her beautiful son, whom she loved and saw great promise in, would not grow up to be a fine, respectful, courteous man.  She was afraid that he would become another pushy, ill-mannered person who doesn’t know how to live well in the world with others.

Suddenly, I felt empathy for her.  I could clearly relate to the way she was feeling.  It was an anxiety many Moms carry; myself included.  While you and I may not have spoken to our child in that way, and in front of others, the terror would be quite the same.

I believe my mirror neurons helped me empathize with both parties in this situation. At a feeling level, I understood what was going on in each of them.  With that, judgmental thoughts about the mother subsided.  They were replaced by empathy and respect for her genuine concern for the son she loved, and her intentions to raise him well.

Could mirror neurons help you to be more empathic – more emotional intelligence?  Try it and then decide.  Instead of judging them, tune in to the people around you and, even if you don’t agree with them, notice how much of their thoughts, feelings and intentions you can discern.  You’re bound to surprise yourself with how much information you’ll receive.  You really can read minds, thanks to the mirror neurons in your brain!

Learn more at GoCognitive.net and in the American Psychological Association article “The Mind’s Mirror.”

 

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Job Hunting Tips For the Class of 2012

May 22nd, 2012

Congratulations to all the recent, or soon to be, college grads!

The National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE) says hiring of this year’s college grads is expected to be up 9.5% over 2011.  That’s great news!

If you’re a recent grad, or you have one in your life, here are a few quick tips that will provide a competitive edge and make the job search process more fruitful.

  1. Make your job search your full time job. Devote your time to networking, completing applications, sending out or posting resumes, following up on leads, and attending job fairs.  Put in a good days work, every day, as you look for that right opportunity.
  2.  Demonstrate your work ethic by developing a professional resume – one that’s free of errors – and complete the application with care
  3. Do your homework and research the position for which you’re applying, the company and industry.
  4. Make sure your cover letter is well-written and speaks to something specific about the company.
  5. Remember, employers will likely check out your social media presence.  So, if need be, clean up your image.
  6. After each interview, promptly send all interviewers a thank you note and affirm your interest in the position.

Make wherever you land the perfect place for learning and growth.  Take every opportunity to strengthen your competency as an emotionally intelligent human being, and enhance your experience base as a professional.

Good luck!  Enjoy every step of your journey!

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The Best Way to Make Feedback Constructive: Practice FeedForward

February 15th, 2012

What do you do when you care about a person?  You find ways to support their happiness and success, particularly when they’re motivated and moving in that direction.

What’s a good way to get behind someone you care about and help them increase their effectiveness and propel themselves forward?  Give them high quality feedback.

Feedback is nourishment for all who are committed to growth and development.  In”Want to Grow and Flourish? Seek Out the Gift of Feedback” and “Does Giving Feedback Scare You? You’re Not Alone,” you get a sense of my thoughts on feedback and its value.  I offered techniques for asking for it, as well as receiving and giving it.  Here I’m offering a few stem statements that you can use that will help you give appreciative and developmental feedback with greater ease and honesty.

  • Appreciative feedback is information about behavior that is effective and enables you to create desired results.  It’s the stuff you do that works well.
  • Developmental feedback is information about behavior you exhibit – something you’re doing, or not doing – which detracts from your effectiveness.

Both types of feedback are valuable and, when delivered skillfully, can be experienced as positive and constructive.

Each of the following stem statements is offered with an eye toward what to do versus what not to do or what is not working.

When giving Appreciative Feedback begin your comments with statements like these:

  • I like/admire the way you…  Keep it up!
  • You’re effective when you…
  • The way you____seems to work well.  Keep doing that.
  • I value your ability to…
  • I experience your strengths as…
  • You’re very good at…
  • You have a particular talent for…
  • Continue to…  You’re effective when you do that.

Try these statements when giving Developmental Feedback:

  • Consider…
  • As you move ahead, you might be more successful if you…
  • One suggestion for the future is…
  • Start to…  I think that would be helpful.
  • For the future, I would appreciate it if you would…  It would help me (or the team) to…
  • I’ve seen several people increase their effectiveness by…   Maybe that’s an idea you might try.
  • From now on, …
  • Going forward, …

The intention behind each of these stem statements is to encourage the giver to make an affirmative statement – a statement that points to preferred or suggested behavior to continue or begin.  It takes your comments out of the realm of focusing on the past and criticizing what the person has done.  Instead, you’re focused on what the person already does that works and making suggestions about future actions that may be more effective.

This technique was popularized by Marshall Goldsmith, author of many great books, and founder of a coaching process in which I’m certified.  Marshall calls the process FeedForward.  If you’d like to read more about Feedforward, click here.

Practicing FeedForward can help you make the feedback process more positive and constructive, even when you have to address sensitive, difficult issues.

Remember:

  • Be committed to being honest and communicating your message positively and constructively.
  • Ask for time to think about what you want to say and the best way to say it.  Doing so, you’re more likely to develop and deliver your message successfully.  Simply say, “Let me give your request some thought and I’ll get back to you later today.”  Think about it.  Get your framing right:  honest, compassionate and respectful. With that, you’re ready to deliver your message.
  • Feedback is not a dialogue or conversation.  In its purest form, it’s a description of behavior exhibited that works well, or a suggestion about behavior that might be more effective.
  • Close with, “Thanks for asking.  Let me know if I can be of help, going forward.” This simple statement lets the person know you’re willing to continue to be supportive of their efforts to be their best.

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The 2012 Resolution Solution: 7 Steps To Lasting Change

January 2nd, 2012

Every year, we make New Year’s resolutions only to make the same resolutions again the following year.  Whether it’s to lose weight, improve a relationship, take better care of our health, exercise, spend more quality time with our kids or aging parents, save more money, or improve our standing in the workplace.  Year after year, for most of us, we resolve to fix the same old problem.  Why is that?  What gets in the way of us achieving our goals, satisfying our resolution?

LIES: Labels, Illusions; Excuses; and Stories.  That’s what gets in the way of goal achievement.  LIES are the thoughts, beliefs and feelings determine our range of choices and define how we behave.

LIES: Labels, Illusions, Excuses and Stories set up unnecessary, false limits.  LIES undermine our belief that we can change; challenge our ability to dream big, or at all; they limit the range of options we see for ourselves.

How do you recognize LIES? They sound like this:

  • I can’t because…
  • I don’t know how to…
  • They won’t let someone like me…
  • I just don’t have the time to…
  • Everybody [feels, thinks, is] that way.
  • Everybody does – sometime.
  • I’ll do it later, when I have more time; not now.
  • When ___ happens, then I’ll be able to…
  • When the kids are older I’ll…
  • That kind of thing happens to other people, not me.
  • That will never happen. Nobody in my family [neighborhood, school, racial or ethnic group] has ever___before.
  • Well, what if…

Setting a goal is like looking at just the tip of an iceberg. What we see and are aware of is a tiny part of the whole thing. We can write it down and make it tangible so that we can look at it and read it.

The issue is what’s beneath the waterline – all the stuff that makes up our attitude and beliefs. And we all know that half of any battle or achieving any goal is our attitude. But what makes up our attitude is so often outside of our awareness. Get that. The stuff that’s really running my show is outside of our awareness. And a good portion of what makes up the base of the iceberg, which is the majority of it, isn’t the truth.

Join me in making 2012 the year of letting go of LIES and practicing the 7 A’s, a process for melting the iceberg; dispelling the LIES in your life, and being accountable for lasting change.

The 7 A’s for Lasting Change

  1. Analyze yourself and your situation. Where am I today? How did I get here? How did I create this? What LIES did I use to construct my world as I know it?
  2. Accept where you are today, without complaint, blame, or shame. You are not a problem, and neither is the situation, really. You’re just at a point where you have a desire for something else. That’s good.
  3. Acknowledge what you want. Be clear and specific about your desire. Write it down, describing it in such detail that you can see it and feel it. Get emotionally connected to what you want, not desperate or begging, just feeling great every time you think about having what you want.
  4. Access Awareness of what you think about this thing or situation you desire; how you really feel when it comes to mind; and what you believe about this thing and your right or ability to have this thing in your life. Note how you feel about the goal or desire; your attraction and fears about it; your resistance to a big YES! What do you think and how do you feel? Write it down. Ask: am I committed?
  5. Allow a range of choices and options to surface, once you’re committed. Think about the choices you’ve identified. Discern which options will lead toward your goal? Consciously choose; mindfully decide which option will serve you best. Imagine yourself using that option. Make your visualization vivid. What are the consequences? Are the consequences aligned with your desire, or do they work against you having what you want?
  6. Act only when you are really ready and have chosen an action that will lead to the consequence you want. You want to think it through and feel it through, the action needs to line up with both your best thinking and best feelings.
  7. Assess the results and reengage in the cycle. The process or cycle is never-ending. It continues throughout your lifetime. The more conscious and aware you are of it, the more success you’ll have achieving your goals and creating change that lasts.

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“I Know!”

December 7th, 2011

Teressa Moore GriffinThe slow moving security line was about 70-people deep. Still uplifted by days in the warm Caribbean sun and blue-green waters, no one complained. Eye contact and smiles were exchanged between strangers. Nods of recognition passed between those who might have seen one another at the hotel, on a beach or at a restaurant. Friends and family members laughed, pleasured by shared stories of a good time. Chatting with my husband, and people watching, I entertained myself as we waited.

Scanning the crowd, she caught my eye…a light, an unmistakable powerhouse. Shoulder length, wavy brown hair, fewer than three feet tall, weighing about 25 to 30 pounds, wearing a sundress with big flowers in primary colors all over it, she was captivating. Pink clog-like shoes were her only accessories.

Traveling with her Mom and Dad, this little one had the full attention of everyone.

As the line advanced, she placed her feet parallel to each other and jumped. She didn’t walk like the rest of us. She hopped like a bunny. Her move forward completed, she said to her Mom, “I love to jump.”

“Yes, you do,” her mother replied, making eye contact and smiling.

Apparently happy, in touch with her desires and preferences, expressive, this young lady seemed free and fully alive.

The line snaked, making the “S” shape crowd control experts use to funnel large groups through tight square footage. A woman who, like me, had been watching and admiring the girl, was now close enough to converse with her.

“Hi there,” the woman said, smiling at the little girl.

“Hi,” she said, leaning forward, lifting her face up to meet the woman, eye-to-eye, her little hand on the rope that separated the two of them.

“How old are you,” asked the woman.

“I’m three.”

Now, here comes the best part.

The woman said, “You’re so cute!”

Without hesitation, self-deprecation or prideful arrogance, the little girl responded simply. “I know!”

Delighted, I laughed. “I know!” Now that’s something else: to be cute and know it.

The mother and father looked at their child, and the woman, and smile. The energy and intentions of the exchange, on everyone’s part, was healthy, heart-warming and affirming; all pure and positive.

Have you ever taken the time to dive deep and explore the energetic impact of exchanges you experienced in your early life? Were you exposed to energy and intentions – words and nonverbals – that affirmed and validated you, or diminished and discounted you? Raised and taught by people who loved us but, often unknowingly, did more to damage our sense of personal power, freedom of self-expression and self-confidence, many of us had the latter experience. But not this young woman.

I asked, “What’s your name?”

“Summer.”

Summer has great awareness of the truth of who she really is. She knows that she’s magnetic; captivating; deserves to be the center of positive attention; has a right to free self-expression; can move and enjoy her body; and can agree, out loud even, without shame, when others acknowledge that she is cute. Her beautiful Spirit is visible – free, open and vulnerably expressed. Therein lies her power and charm.

Summer embodies the wonder and magic of the incredible gift she is to the world. Do you? This little one brings joy and light to the world. Her energy and intentions – her thoughts, feelings and beliefs about her self – are aligned. She knows she is good, safe, is here to enjoy herself and others. She knows it and she shows it.

As we moved through the security line – laptops and electronics out and into the tray; shoes, jackets and purse into another, stepping through the scanning machine (luckily no pat-down this time),then collecting just x-rayed bags, redressing, repacking the laptop and electronics, I had a chance to chat more with Summer and her mother, Steph.

“Summer, you were a hit with all these people. You held everyone’s attention. We were all so happy to see you!”

Steph smiled and said, “Everywhere we go, people notice her. It’s always like this.”

And, what did Summer say?

“I know!”

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Perfect or Excellent? Which Do You Shoot For?

November 15th, 2011

I was listening to Arthur Joseph discuss Vocal Awareness, a powerful concept he founded. He and his work are powerful.

Arthur asked, “Do you strive to be perfect or excellent?”

Hearing the question, I felt surprised by it. Clearly, the way he posed the question suggested there was a difference between the two, but it wasn’t a distinction I’d ever considered. Yet, the moment I heard the question, simultaneous to my surprise, I got it.

Intuitively, I understood – or at least I had a handle on my own interpretation of his message. And, I’m sure Arthur could add far more dimension and depth to the distinction between perfect and excellent than I was able to grasp in the moment. Yet, the question provided me with a gift.

From Arthur’s question, “Do you strive to be perfect or excellent,” several thoughts occurred to me.

  • Perfection is illusive and fleeting. It never lasts.
  • Perfection is a fantasy that fuels LIES That Limit and is usually based on a narrow, impossible to achieve image or idea.
  • Excellence is a way of being.
  • Excellence is birthed when you live up to your intention to simply be your best, moment-to-moment, day-to-day.

As I listened to Arthur, I thought to myself, “I will never be perfect, yet I can be excellent every day of my life. I can string together moments of excellence – moments of me doing my best at whatever I’m engaged in. In so doing, I’ll create an extraordinary life – a life that pleases me and represents me well. ”

I won’t delude myself with fantasies of being perfect, in thought, word or deed. As a Spirit of Purpose, I’ll simply shoot for excellence. Day-to-day, moment-to-moment, being excellent means that I’ll do my best to take another step towards making the unique contribution that I was born to make. That’s my work. Consider making it yours, too.

LIES That Limit will help you let go of the voices in your head that hold you back.  Order your copy today!

 

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Are You “Where You Came From” or “Where You’re Going?”

November 8th, 2011

When guest-blogger Kyle Ruffin sent this submission, I read it, riveted to every word she wrote.  Everything in me was shouting, “Amen!” Her message, aligned with the message LIES That Limit, is one I had to share with you. Have a read and let me hear how her words and energy impact you.

I work a lot with people who’ve devoted their lives to helping residents of Camden, NJ overcome their trials and tribulations. Since 1997, I’ve been on boards, committees and even employed by organizations with a mission of bringing self-sufficiency to a city of people dependent on others to survive.

After so many years, I find myself asking whether we’re truly fighting poverty, under-education, substance abuse, illiteracy and all other social ills, or are we really fighting a deeply in-grained mindset. Is it a set of beliefs held not only by the people who live in Camden – one of the poorest cities in the country – but by the people working to save them? When you ask caring members of the human service community to ask the people in Camden to contribute money to their cause or volunteer for their organization, often they’ll answer that people in Camden don’t do that. Which is true, but is that because they’re not expected to do it or is it because their lives are so overburdened with problems that volunteering is more of a luxury than the duty some of us feel to help our fellow man.

I myself am often sidelined by things that happened to me in the past. My history holds convenient excuses that I can use when rationalizing about not pushing myself. In my head I hear the litany of reasons “I can’t, because” or “I didn’t, because.” These are LIES I have at the ready in case someone challenges me. And deceptively, they make me feel better about sitting on my hands, rather than pushing through a fear that’s masking my truth. Often, my truth has nothing to do with what happened in my past. My truth is something I can still make happen every day.

My husband brought home a mug recently that caught his eye. He hasn’t figured how who he’ll give it to, but it certainly resonated with me. It said “This is your life. Shape it or someone else will.”

I offer a modified “or something else will” – your past! One of the biggest LIES that many of us live with is giving “where we came from” more importance than it deserves. There are probably lots of examples we can draw on that prove we’ve grown beyond our past, yet in so many ways it holds us like someone pulling at the back of our shirt as we try to forge ahead.

Kyle Ruffin

I’m not a huge fan of those inspirational rags-to-riches tales of people who rose from poverty to make it huge! Oprah. Tyler Perry. Every NBA or NFL star ever. The list goes on and on. For me, it’s easy to discount those folks when I’m looking for inspiration for my less than “Time Magazine Woman of the Year” life. I’m not trying to become a media mogul. I’m not trying to change the world or even save a life. I’m just trying to get through this life with more smiles than frowns. But I must say that those larger than life superstars have an important lesson for everyone struggling to see their future as something they control. These icons have managed to shed their woe-is-me, I-came-from-_____-so-feel-sorry-for-me frame of mind. Somehow, they didn’t think reaching great heights was beyond them because no one they knew had ever done it before. They just put on their “I can do it” blinders and went for it. What ever “handouts” they got, they didn’t look at them as entitlements. They took advantage of the opportunities they were presented with and parlayed them into something much greater than the original gift.

Sometimes our minds get stuck in the past – focused on a history that we can’t change or affect. Sometimes people we love unwittingly keep us moonwalking over the same history – one that says this is all we can ever amount to. We can always amount to more – until the day we die!

There are entire cities – even countries – of people who base their perception of what they can accomplish on what they or others before them didn’t achieve. That script in their collective psyche is more powerful than anything anyone else can say or do to them. No matter how much money, education or inspiration one throws at it them, nothing will change until it is unmasked, brought to the surface and obliterated.

How?  The suggestion box is open!

 

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