Archive for the ‘Personal Growth’ category

Life Coach Lesson: Finding Value In Complaints

March 12th, 2013

ComplaintsThere is wisdom in turning a welcoming ear to complaints, in listening to negative comments – whether at home or in the workplace.  Why?  Because, like it or not, those complaints and grumblings are feedback, most probably based on a germ of truth and, certainly, they hold the seeds of a solution.

Listen carefully and objectively.  Your next big business-improvement or relationship enhancement idea could be dished out by a dissatisfied customer or friend, given to you by a grumbling employee or family member, or a complaining colleague or loved one.

As you listen, instead of responding defensively and justifying your actions or position, ask yourself:  what grain of truth is in his complaint?  What’s her dissatisfaction pointing out that I need to see more clearly and address constructively?

Don’t be put off by negative feedback.  Explore it.  You could unearth an idea, though yet disguised as a complaint, that just might enhance your profit picture and your life.

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Control Overreaction At Work and Home

March 5th, 2013

Angry Biz WomanWhen it comes to pressure in the workplace or at home, which situations trigger feelings of overload, burden, overwhelm and stress?  How do you typically react?  Do you freeze up, get angry or cranky, gossip, feel frustrated, or stop working and start complaining?  Do you overreact?

The next time pressure and overload land in your world, shift your old pattern to a more constructive response.

Consciously choose your reaction. Begin by acknowledging to yourself that wave of despair, annoyance or overwhelm as it starts to surface.  Then, take a moment and identify your preferred response.  If you need the benefit of another perspective, speak with your manager or a trusted friend.  Discuss the necessity of a shift in priorities.  Seek out their advice about ways to proceed. You can also solicit suggestions from a colleague.  Or, if need be, take a brief walk to clear your head, release tension and get a fresh perspective.

The trick to handling pressure more effectively is interrupting your auto-pilot, patterned response. Consciously choose to replace overreaction with emotional intelligence and you’ll feel the change ripple through your life.

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Life Coach Lesson: Overachievers Steal Things

February 26th, 2013

Life Coach LessonIn a year-end post by blogger Penelope Trunk called “15 Things Overachievers Do,” one of those things was they steal things. She admitted to stealing this particular blog idea from “Thought Catalogue. Forbes.com contributor TJ McCue stole the same idea from Penelope for his year-end piece “13 Things Overachievers Do.” My point: achieving great things doesn’t always mean conjuring up new ideas.

Both McCue and Trunk point out that over-achievers have a lot of great ideas, so they don’t mind if others steal them. After all, it’s not the ideas that matter, it’s the execution. And stealing ideas from others can make life easier and that’s okay.

To steal ideas, put yourself in the flow of the ever-increasing information stream. Identify industry thought-leaders or people outside your field whose accomplishments you find intriguing. Pick up their biographies or books, read their columns, watch their shows or follow their blogs.

Solutions to issues you face at work or at home can be found in the unlikeliest places.  A mind open and exposed to new or unconventional ideas is sure to find them.

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Time Management Is Self Management

February 19th, 2013

Time ManagementWe look to tools and techniques to help us manage time.  And they can, to a certain extent – that being the degree to which we take a disciplined approach to their application.  The effectiveness of any time management tool is squarely in our hands.  To manage your time more effectively, you have to improve the way you manage your self.

If your time is mismanaged or wasted, you’re the one at fault.  In knowing that, you give yourself a chance to own your power to change the situation.  You can begin using your time more consistently to do what best serves your goals and helps you live a better, more satisfying life, now.

Here are two time management strategies that, applied regularly, will help you manage yourself and can have a ripple effect on your behavior as the owner and manager of your time.

Make the Meaningful a Priority Put time in your schedule, at least weekly, perhaps daily, to do something meaningful, in addition to your daily work.  This might include time with loved ones, time to meditate, to read for pleasure, time to exercise, time for volunteer activities.  Determine what adds meaning to your life then make sure you add it to your list of priorities.

Build Flex Time into Your Schedule By that I mean leave two to three hours each day unscheduled.  Block it off on your calendar as “Flex Time” or whatever you want to call it.  The point is, it’s scheduled time on your calendar.  Don’t double book yourself.  You can move your Flex Time or shift it, but don’t delete it and give it away.  Keep this time sacred and use it for thinking, planning, handling the unexpected, dealing with emergencies.  As a task-driven society, we underestimate the value of devoting time to thinking, planning or just breathing.

The unexpected is inevitable.  If you plan for the unanticipated, you’ll spend less time putting out fires and more time focused on the activities that fulfill you and move you closer to your goals.

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Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

February 13th, 2013

Get Beyond Your Comfort Zone“I’m continually trying to make choices that put me against my own comfort zone. As long as you’re uncomfortable, it means you’re growing.” ~Ashton Kutcher 

Defensiveness is the biggest deterrent to learning, professional and personal growth and positive change.  Most of the time we don’t recognize when we’re standing in the way of our own progress.

Here’s the number one way you can tell if you’re stopping yourself from learning and becoming more.  When someone makes a suggestion, do you respond by explaining why you do what you do?  If you do, your internal mental Border Patrol, a concept I introduced in my book, LIES That Limit, is making an argument for your status quo.  Justifying your behavior is a sure way to stay stuck in old, outdated patterns.

Another way you thwart your own growth is when you tell others they don’t understand your situation or circumstances, you’re limiting your ability to make progress with your life.

If you’re at cause for lackluster progress in your life, stop justifying your behavior and start identifying more with your vision for your life.  Tell a new story.

For more information, pick up a copy of LIES That Limit on Amazon in paperback or for Kindle.  Learn more about conquering your own Border Patrol by visiting TMGSpeaks.com and search “Border Patrol.”

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Life Coach Lesson: Understanding Your Internal Border Patrol

January 29th, 2013

Border Patrol Image - smExcerpt from LIES That Limit: Uncover The Truth Of Who You Really Are

Through conditioning we blind ourselves to the best of who we are.  We become untrusting, too busy, too intellectual, too committed to rules and ideas that, in the end, don’t serve our growth or expand awareness of our Spirit and Purpose. We collude with the internal Border Patrol, limiting our self-expression and access to what is best and right for us.  We become too afraid to touch our core, our Spirit, our own divine nature.

What’s in the way of accessing your true nature?  LIES – Labels, Illusions, Excuses and Stories.  You allow LIES – the cultural story about what’s true, real, and important – to come between you and your Spirit.  LIES dull the connection to your core and your calling.  LIES enforced by The Border Patrol make you afraid to let your Spirit rule your life, guide your actions and decisions, and keep you aligned with the truth of who you really are.

Convincingly, The Border Patrol will say, “If you start talking about this weird, woo-woo stuff, you’ll lose everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve and acquire.”  The Border Patrol will persuade you to stay out of that foreign territory of Spirit and Purpose and keep your feet planted firmly on the ground.  It will tell you to leave all that nonsense alone, and threaten you with, “If you don’t, you’ll become an outcast, ridiculed and humiliated for your beliefs – rejected by the people who love you.”

Adopting the ways of the world, what you mistakenly call life takes center stage.  Your connection with your core Self is lost.  Soon, you forget you’re the creative force in your life.  You give up authorship.  You lose faith in your ability to be sure of who you are, why you’re here, and what’s right for you.  The controlling, self-sabotaging power of The Border Patrol takes the driver’s seat in your mind.

The Border Patrol is expert at generating fear of losing love.  In reality, no one could ever love you less than this internal agent of oppression.  When speaking to you, The Border Patrol’s words seem logical, make sense and sound reasonable and protective.  After all, you don’t want to jeopardize your safety and security.  But, what you don’t understand is its cunning, loveless nature.  Blindly, you yield to the authority of The Border Patrol, agreeing to live LIES in exchange for a false sense of security.

Talk about selling your soul to the devil!

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Obstacles or Opportunities: How to Respond With Emotional Intelligence

January 15th, 2013

stress and depression, broken pencil, isolated on black

Every day, opportunities are presented to us. They may be disguised as obstacles, problems or issues, but what they really are is a chance to demonstrate our ability to make a positive contribution to our lives or our company’s goals and objectives.

The best way to take advantage of these opportunities is by making conscious choices designed to get you closer to your personal and career goals.

Here are two simple steps that will help you act more mindfully in the face of a perceived obstacle.

  1. Slow down your actions and reactions. Take a few breaths and think before you speak, decide or act.
  2. Then, look out into future and imagine the potential consequences of your response. Determine if what you’re about to say or do supports or sabotages your intentions.

In all areas of life – at work and at home, conscious choice is a necessary component of behavioral change and goal achievement. Make a firm decision to accomplish your goals by breaking free of self-limiting patterns. Simply put, a quick “no” might close more doors than you realize at first, while a well-thought out “yes” signals others that you’re an engaged member of a team focused on success.

Remember:  stop, breathe and think.  Then, select the emotionally intelligent response that will move you closer to what you want.

To make your year more successful and satisfying, learn more about the powerful possibilities of conscious choice in LIES That Limit: Uncover The Truth Of Who You Really Are.

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New Beginnings! TeressaMooreGriffin.com Goes LIVE.

January 9th, 2013

TeressaMooreGriffin.comThe new year is about new beginnings.  Which makes the announcement of my new website TeressaMooreGriffin.com rather timely.

I’ve spent decades successfully helping executives become more effective and purpose-driven in their jobs.  Over the years I’ve seen the role of leadership change from that which is exclusive to the very top echelon of a company to something required of every employee no matter their rank.

Successful companies know that leadership, creativity and innovation doesn’t always come from the top.  Valuable insight and drive can come from anywhere along the chain of command.  This means two things.  Today’s executives need to better understand how to capitalize on the intellectual power and energy within their company, and up and down the corporate ladder, employees must learn how to make their impact felt.

It is that knowledge that I share with you on TeressaMooreGriffin.com – the latest online community that has sprung from Spirit of Purpose™.

This new website is also the home of my Office Talk reports, heard regularly on KYW Newsradio Online.  Office Talk provides quick, easy-to-digest tips on being effective at work.  The topics cover a wide range, including how to conduct productive meetings, mentoring and being mentored, failing your way to success and how to get through difficult, but necessary conversations.

Being more effective at work leads to being happy at work and in life.  There are simple adjustments you can make to change your attitude and behavior that will catapult you to the top, or simply make you feel more powerful and productive where you are.

TeressaMooreGriffin.com is live right now!  Stop by and visit.  I’ll update Office Talk every week with the latest written and audio versions of my reports.  Audio is included so you multi-taskers can listen to these 1-minute reports while you work!

Let me know what obstacles you face in the workplace.  Chances are you’re not alone.  I want to make sure “Office Talk” addresses real issues people are dealing with as they manage people and processes in their everyday worklife.

Here’s to a prosperous and happy 2013 for you at home and at work!

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Happy YOUR Year!

January 1st, 2013

2013 Going Forward ListLike every year in your life, 2013 is YOUR YEAR.  It’s sure to bring you multiple opportunities to live with a clear mind, a grateful heart, and look forward to the next steps on your journey with joy-filled anticipation.

The start of the new year is the perfect time for Intentional Reflection.  Purposefully look back on the year that has passed to set the stage for moving forward to the year ahead. Here are a few thoughts to guide your process.

Assess YOUR YEAR – 2012 – by making two lists:  a Grateful For and a Going Forward list

On your Grateful For list, note all the good you experienced, all the goals you accomplished; list everything for which you’re grateful.  Because we sometimes lose sight of how truly fortunate we are and how much good is ours, you very well may be surprised at the content and length of your list.  Your Grateful For list is a reminder of how wonder-full your life is everyday.

On your Going Forward list, include whatever you’re longing to experience; want to try your hand at, improve, strengthen or add to your repertoire and skill set.  Be honest with yourself.  Note only that which speaks to your heart’s desire and is calling for fulfillment.  Jot down one or two things you’re truly committed to adding to your Grateful For list, on or before December 31, 2013.  Let this year – your year – be the year you take steps to satisfy your deepest longings.  These longings are your Spirit and Purpose calling for attention and fulfillment.

As you move into your 2013, empower yourself with the knowledge that you are the creative and defining force in your life.  Through the beliefs you hold, the thoughts you think, the emotions and feelings you experience, and your daily behavior choices, you shape your life.  That being so, you have the uncontested ability and power to make your life more like you want it to be.

Intentional Reflection and Conscious Choice are tools that can help you identify self-limiting beliefs, release outdated patterns of behavior and make more effective choices – choices that result in greater self-awareness, personal power and success.  Intentional Reflection and Conscious Choice lead to Transformational Change that will help you live better, and more effectively interact with the people who look to you for trustworthy friendship and leadership

May your Grateful For list delight you.  May your Going Forward list honor the call of your Spirit and align with your Purpose.  May Intentional Reflection and Conscious Choice help you make your year one that touches your Spirit, speaks to your sense of Purpose and enhances your effectiveness in every area of your life.

You can learn more about the powerful possibilities of Intentional Reflection, Conscious Choice and Transformational Change in LIES That Limit:  Uncover the Truth of Who You Really Are.

Happy YOUR Year!

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How To Give Yourself the Gift of Change This Year

December 18th, 2012

Catepillar-Butterfly

I was coaching a man recently, and his reaction to the call for change was classic.

To Jack, changing meant he wouldn’t be the person he used to be.  About that, we agreed.  He wouldn’t be his old self any longer.

As he contemplated change, his concerns began to surface. “I don’t want to lose myself.  I mean, I’m me.  I’ve been this way all of my life.  Anything else would feel phony and awkward.”

Jack also admitted that he was concerned about how others would see him and respond to the changes.   He worried that he wouldn’t be seen as credible.  “Who’s going to believe it?”

I offered the thought that changing wouldn’t make him less of who he is.  He’d become more.  He’d have access to more of his whole self which includes parts and behavior patterns he knows well, parts and potential that are less familiar, and skill and abilities that are underdeveloped.

“Jack, any time you want to stop using the new skill, you can.  At will, you can go back to your old way because whatever you change – a behavior, a mindset, a belief – it’s still yours.  You can call it up and begin using it again, any time you choose.  In a very real sense, you haven’t lost anything, you’ve added something.”

Jack breathed a sigh of relief.  “That makes perfect sense.  It seems so simple when you say it that way.  I’m in.  I’ll give it a try.”

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of change.   Become more of who you really are.

Make a decision to let go of LIES That Limit your freedom of choice, your effectiveness at work, your success in relationships, your willingness to take action and make changes for your own good.

Try something you’ve been wanting to do.  Learn a skill that intrigues you.  Give up a habit that no longer serves you.  Adopt a new behavior or perspective that will help you live better now.

When you add new experiences, beliefs and behaviors to your repertoire, you expand your capacity, broaden your range of capability, and deepen your awareness of your limitless potential.  Emboldened with a new skill set and perspective, you’re equipped to do more, to embody more of who you really are.  You take another step in the direction of wholeness.

So, what about you?  What changes are calling to you – changes that might help you gain access to more of your whole self?

My personal answer is simple.  I have two commitments:

  1. I’m going to give myself a morning and an afternoon practice of taking ten deep, conscious breaths with the goals of relaxing, clearing my mind and energizing my body.
  2. At least four days a week this winter (I walk during the summer, happily, but avoid the winter winds), I’m going to walk three miles a day.  Walking helps me to inhabit my body, work out the kinks, strengthen my legs, lungs and heart, build physical energy and facilitate mental clarity.  I deserve these good gifts all year-round.

Embrace your change – be it large or small – and make 2013 the year you become more of who you really are.

Happy Holidays!

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