Posts Tagged ‘LIES That Limit’

The LIES That Limit Blog Has Moved!

March 20th, 2013

Spirit of PurposeMy weekly LIES That Limit blog can now be found on my Spirit of Purpose website.  Visit spiritofpurpose.com for the weekly inspirational and motivational blog, as well as beautifully designed sharable quotes.

Office TalkOffice Talk, reports dedicated to surviving and thriving at work, are available at TMGSpeaks.com.

And for daily inspiration, follow me on Facebook or Twitter!

 

Thank you for joining the Spirit of Purpose family!

Be well.

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Life Coach Lesson: Understanding Your Internal Border Patrol

January 29th, 2013

Border Patrol Image - smExcerpt from LIES That Limit: Uncover The Truth Of Who You Really Are

Through conditioning we blind ourselves to the best of who we are.  We become untrusting, too busy, too intellectual, too committed to rules and ideas that, in the end, don’t serve our growth or expand awareness of our Spirit and Purpose. We collude with the internal Border Patrol, limiting our self-expression and access to what is best and right for us.  We become too afraid to touch our core, our Spirit, our own divine nature.

What’s in the way of accessing your true nature?  LIES – Labels, Illusions, Excuses and Stories.  You allow LIES – the cultural story about what’s true, real, and important – to come between you and your Spirit.  LIES dull the connection to your core and your calling.  LIES enforced by The Border Patrol make you afraid to let your Spirit rule your life, guide your actions and decisions, and keep you aligned with the truth of who you really are.

Convincingly, The Border Patrol will say, “If you start talking about this weird, woo-woo stuff, you’ll lose everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve and acquire.”  The Border Patrol will persuade you to stay out of that foreign territory of Spirit and Purpose and keep your feet planted firmly on the ground.  It will tell you to leave all that nonsense alone, and threaten you with, “If you don’t, you’ll become an outcast, ridiculed and humiliated for your beliefs – rejected by the people who love you.”

Adopting the ways of the world, what you mistakenly call life takes center stage.  Your connection with your core Self is lost.  Soon, you forget you’re the creative force in your life.  You give up authorship.  You lose faith in your ability to be sure of who you are, why you’re here, and what’s right for you.  The controlling, self-sabotaging power of The Border Patrol takes the driver’s seat in your mind.

The Border Patrol is expert at generating fear of losing love.  In reality, no one could ever love you less than this internal agent of oppression.  When speaking to you, The Border Patrol’s words seem logical, make sense and sound reasonable and protective.  After all, you don’t want to jeopardize your safety and security.  But, what you don’t understand is its cunning, loveless nature.  Blindly, you yield to the authority of The Border Patrol, agreeing to live LIES in exchange for a false sense of security.

Talk about selling your soul to the devil!

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Happy YOUR Year!

January 1st, 2013

2013 Going Forward ListLike every year in your life, 2013 is YOUR YEAR.  It’s sure to bring you multiple opportunities to live with a clear mind, a grateful heart, and look forward to the next steps on your journey with joy-filled anticipation.

The start of the new year is the perfect time for Intentional Reflection.  Purposefully look back on the year that has passed to set the stage for moving forward to the year ahead. Here are a few thoughts to guide your process.

Assess YOUR YEAR – 2012 – by making two lists:  a Grateful For and a Going Forward list

On your Grateful For list, note all the good you experienced, all the goals you accomplished; list everything for which you’re grateful.  Because we sometimes lose sight of how truly fortunate we are and how much good is ours, you very well may be surprised at the content and length of your list.  Your Grateful For list is a reminder of how wonder-full your life is everyday.

On your Going Forward list, include whatever you’re longing to experience; want to try your hand at, improve, strengthen or add to your repertoire and skill set.  Be honest with yourself.  Note only that which speaks to your heart’s desire and is calling for fulfillment.  Jot down one or two things you’re truly committed to adding to your Grateful For list, on or before December 31, 2013.  Let this year – your year – be the year you take steps to satisfy your deepest longings.  These longings are your Spirit and Purpose calling for attention and fulfillment.

As you move into your 2013, empower yourself with the knowledge that you are the creative and defining force in your life.  Through the beliefs you hold, the thoughts you think, the emotions and feelings you experience, and your daily behavior choices, you shape your life.  That being so, you have the uncontested ability and power to make your life more like you want it to be.

Intentional Reflection and Conscious Choice are tools that can help you identify self-limiting beliefs, release outdated patterns of behavior and make more effective choices – choices that result in greater self-awareness, personal power and success.  Intentional Reflection and Conscious Choice lead to Transformational Change that will help you live better, and more effectively interact with the people who look to you for trustworthy friendship and leadership

May your Grateful For list delight you.  May your Going Forward list honor the call of your Spirit and align with your Purpose.  May Intentional Reflection and Conscious Choice help you make your year one that touches your Spirit, speaks to your sense of Purpose and enhances your effectiveness in every area of your life.

You can learn more about the powerful possibilities of Intentional Reflection, Conscious Choice and Transformational Change in LIES That Limit:  Uncover the Truth of Who You Really Are.

Happy YOUR Year!

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How To Give Yourself the Gift of Change This Year

December 18th, 2012

Catepillar-Butterfly

I was coaching a man recently, and his reaction to the call for change was classic.

To Jack, changing meant he wouldn’t be the person he used to be.  About that, we agreed.  He wouldn’t be his old self any longer.

As he contemplated change, his concerns began to surface. “I don’t want to lose myself.  I mean, I’m me.  I’ve been this way all of my life.  Anything else would feel phony and awkward.”

Jack also admitted that he was concerned about how others would see him and respond to the changes.   He worried that he wouldn’t be seen as credible.  “Who’s going to believe it?”

I offered the thought that changing wouldn’t make him less of who he is.  He’d become more.  He’d have access to more of his whole self which includes parts and behavior patterns he knows well, parts and potential that are less familiar, and skill and abilities that are underdeveloped.

“Jack, any time you want to stop using the new skill, you can.  At will, you can go back to your old way because whatever you change – a behavior, a mindset, a belief – it’s still yours.  You can call it up and begin using it again, any time you choose.  In a very real sense, you haven’t lost anything, you’ve added something.”

Jack breathed a sigh of relief.  “That makes perfect sense.  It seems so simple when you say it that way.  I’m in.  I’ll give it a try.”

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of change.   Become more of who you really are.

Make a decision to let go of LIES That Limit your freedom of choice, your effectiveness at work, your success in relationships, your willingness to take action and make changes for your own good.

Try something you’ve been wanting to do.  Learn a skill that intrigues you.  Give up a habit that no longer serves you.  Adopt a new behavior or perspective that will help you live better now.

When you add new experiences, beliefs and behaviors to your repertoire, you expand your capacity, broaden your range of capability, and deepen your awareness of your limitless potential.  Emboldened with a new skill set and perspective, you’re equipped to do more, to embody more of who you really are.  You take another step in the direction of wholeness.

So, what about you?  What changes are calling to you – changes that might help you gain access to more of your whole self?

My personal answer is simple.  I have two commitments:

  1. I’m going to give myself a morning and an afternoon practice of taking ten deep, conscious breaths with the goals of relaxing, clearing my mind and energizing my body.
  2. At least four days a week this winter (I walk during the summer, happily, but avoid the winter winds), I’m going to walk three miles a day.  Walking helps me to inhabit my body, work out the kinks, strengthen my legs, lungs and heart, build physical energy and facilitate mental clarity.  I deserve these good gifts all year-round.

Embrace your change – be it large or small – and make 2013 the year you become more of who you really are.

Happy Holidays!

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Want to Change the People Around You?

September 18th, 2012

LIES That Limit discusses culture – familial, racial, religious, regional, national, etc. – Each has its intended and unintentional impact in the way culture is passed on, not only through the rational, spoken messages we receive, but also through invisible, energetic exchanges.  Now, I understand such transmissions to be the magical work of mirror neurons.  Now, that’s cool!

Mirror neurons provide clues as to how culture is transmitted and why it’s so hard to change.  Because we mimic what we see, we tend to keep doing what we see those around us doing.  We imitate what we observe, making our behavior clearly and easily influenced by those around us.  People who live together, work together, play together, hang out together begin to act, sound, feel and think alike.  Our behavior tends to be a reflection of what we see.  The same is so for those around us.

With every feeling you experience, every intention you hold, and every action you take, you’re having a significant affect on others.  Your feelings, thoughts and behavior stimulate the same thoughts, feelings and behavior in those around you, through the action of their mirror neurons.  They can read your thoughts, feelings and intentions.  To extend the logic, the more consistently you engage in a certain behavior, carry a certain feeling and intention, the more likely you are to shape or contour – influence – the behavior of others.

At home, leading by example is more than a catch phrase or way to keep kids from behaving badly.  Mirror neurons are another argument for walking the path you want your children to walk — which is infinitely more effective than, “do as I say.”  Often you hear parents wonder, “Where on earth did she pick that up?”  Now we know there’s a chemical reaction that shapes these behaviors. Actions you take that you don’t think your kids pick up on or that you might not be aware of are working their way into your children’s brains.

If you work in an organization – on a team or lead a group – you can positively affect the culture by maintaining a positive pattern of feeling, thought and behavior.  Your consistent, repetitive behavior will impact the mirror neurons of those around you and they will, sooner or later, begin to reflect back to you what they’ve experienced.

To change the culture of your organization or your household, hold firm and stay the course.  As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see…” and notice how others will eventually mirror back to you your beliefs and behavior.

Learn more about mirror neurons:

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You Can Read Minds

September 4th, 2012

Here’s a bit of information about yourself you may not have known.  It can support your professional development, up your Emotional Intelligence – and boost your self-esteem.

You can read minds!  Did you know that?  And, in all fairness, you need to know that others can read your mind, too – your thoughts, feelings and intentions.  According to Giacomo Rizzolatti, we’re born with the ability.

In a New York Times article, “Cells That Read Minds,” Rizzolatti and other neuroscientists describe a special class of brain cells responsible for this ability.  They’re called mirror neurons.  Their discovery provides insight into how you learn to walk, talk, smile; why you can understand how others feel and empathize with them; why you like sports and the arts; the intangible way culture gets passed on from generation to generation; and why the kind of media you watch and interact with really does matter.

Dr. Rizzolatti points out what most of us know at a gut level:  understanding the actions, intentions and emotions of others is central to our survival and sense of safety.  We have the ability to understand what others are thinking, feeling and what they may do based not on rational thought, but on feelings.  This fascinates me because, intuitively, I’ve always known this to be true.  In fact, LIES That Limit discusses the constructive and destructive aspects of being tuned in to what others are thinking and feeling, and the impact it can have on the choices we make.    Now, science provides additional evidence to prove the point.

Pay close attention; your psychic ability may just be the by-product of active mirror neurons.  Given your natural ability to anticipate what others are thinking, feeling and are about to do, you can work at better understanding where they’re coming from and why.  Here’s an example:  on a recent flight, squeezing into the seats next to me were two people who I assume to be a mother and her thirteen to fourteen year old son.  From their conversation, it seemed they were coming home from a trip abroad…so lots of time together, in close quarters – airplanes, hotels, restaurants, etc.

As they fell into the seats, the mother began speaking to her son in a way that felt like yelling, to me.

“You always do that.  I told you to stop.  You’re rude and embarrassing.  I told you not to behave that way.  It’s not nice.  I don’t want to have to tell you again.  Don’t push people or push your way through crowds.  Wait your turn.  Have I not told you this before?!  I’m tired of telling you about your behavior.”

On and on, she went.  I felt badly for the young man.  Having been the child of a mother who, out of a sense of responsibility for raising a well-behaved child, had no qualms about public chastisement, I felt for him.  I looked deeply into the pages of my book to avoid his eyes.  I imagined, or sensed, he was feeling humiliated at the public dress-down he was receiving.  Sitting next to me, I was aware of his breathing and, peripherally, his icy, frozen stare, eyes locked straight ahead.  He was doing so to control himself – to not yell back or strike out.

After she quieted down, I thought about the mother and wondered why she felt the need to speak to her son so harshly, and with many strangers bearing witness.  I went into my “Why is she doing this!?!”  The more I pondered the question/judgment, the more I could sense her thoughts and feelings, too.  The awareness that came floored me.  This woman was TERRIFIED that her beautiful son, whom she loved and saw great promise in, would not grow up to be a fine, respectful, courteous man.  She was afraid that he would become another pushy, ill-mannered person who doesn’t know how to live well in the world with others.

Suddenly, I felt empathy for her.  I could clearly relate to the way she was feeling.  It was an anxiety many Moms carry; myself included.  While you and I may not have spoken to our child in that way, and in front of others, the terror would be quite the same.

I believe my mirror neurons helped me empathize with both parties in this situation. At a feeling level, I understood what was going on in each of them.  With that, judgmental thoughts about the mother subsided.  They were replaced by empathy and respect for her genuine concern for the son she loved, and her intentions to raise him well.

Could mirror neurons help you to be more empathic – more emotional intelligence?  Try it and then decide.  Instead of judging them, tune in to the people around you and, even if you don’t agree with them, notice how much of their thoughts, feelings and intentions you can discern.  You’re bound to surprise yourself with how much information you’ll receive.  You really can read minds, thanks to the mirror neurons in your brain!

Learn more at GoCognitive.net and in the American Psychological Association article “The Mind’s Mirror.”

 

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NEW Website for Spirit of Purpose Community

July 10th, 2012

Today, I’m happy to announce, we’ve launched the new Spirit of Purpose™ website.

This new dynamic website is where our community can come together and learn more about how they can Live Better Now!   It is a place where you’ll find encouragement to make conscious choices that will lead to authentic, lasting growth.

The Spirit of Purpose™ mission is to build a vibrant, active, passionate community of people who are committed to Self-awareness, Self-acceptance and Self-mastery as a path to a better life.  Guided by a process of intentional reflection and conscious choice, we support you in making changes that transform your life – changes aligned with your deeper self.  Your real Self.

You become a Spirit of Purpose™ when you take your blinders off and lift the veil of LIES™ (Labels, Illusion, Excuses and Stories) in your life.  This is the topic of my first book “LIES That Limit: Uncover the Truth Of Who You Really Are” which is the initial step on the never-ending journey to becoming your authentic Self, knowing and embodying your truth.

The new website will host the same great blogs that have been available on the LIES That Limit™ site.  We invite you to subscribe via RSS, Facebook or Twitter so you won’t miss any of the inspiration shared daily.  And we welcome guest bloggers interested in helping others through telling the stories of their life lessons learned.  We invite you to share how you let go of limiting LIES™ and became the Spirit of Purpose you were born to be.

The Spirit of Purpose™ website also offers a toolkit filled with life changing opportunities – the newest of which is “Sacred Circles.”  This one-on-one or group program opens the door to knowing and being your real Self.  Your SACRED Self!  Take advantage of this rare opportunity and join other committed seekers, all walking their path toward Self-realization.

Core Energetics therapy and personal coaching are two additional tools that will help you live and lead with a Spirit of Purpose™.  Contact us at info@spiritofpurpose.com to schedule your consultation and take the next step on your path to wholeness.

Please take a look around our new website and let us know what you like, and how we can improve it to help you reach your goals.  It’s a working, changing site for a growing and thriving community of Spirits with Purpose.  We welcome your feedback!

In honor of your limitless possibilities,

 

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I See Auras. Do You?

May 8th, 2012

More and more, science is catching up with TRUTH and is able to provide evidence and explanation for what has always existed, been true throughout the ages, was known by the sages and is understood by many today.

Since my late twenties, I’ve been able to see auras – that luminous glow around people’s body.  To me, the aura is evidence of the energetic field, a manifestation of Spirit.

It’s the most beautiful thing to witness the light that emanates from people.  To watch it shimmer and grow bigger and brighter in the presence of good feelings, loving thought and positive excitement.  In contrast, when a person is trapped in LIES that limit their knowledge and understanding of who they really are, the once bright light shrinks in size and grows dull and dim.

Do you see auras?  Do you believe in the reality of auras?  Have you ever had your aura read or worked on?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, I just read an article in Science Daily that will interest you.  It’s called, “Synesthesia May Explain Healers Claims of Seeing People’s ‘Aura.’”  The article indicates that scientists have been able to identify regions in the brain of certain people that are “intensely interconnected.” The regions are responsible for processing a multiplicity of sensory stimuli that makes seeing auras possible.

While Spirit can’t be defined or confined, science now has technology and language to describe its affect on the brain.  Such information may be helpful to those who need measurable “proof” of the existence of the Life Force that animates bodies for a time.

The evidence of the presence of Spirit is everywhere.  I find that fact so exciting that I’m sure my aura is glowing brightly right now!

 

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How to Hear Your Own Voice Among the Many Others In Your Head

April 17th, 2012

We live with so many voices in our heads.  They are voices of people who we know and trust – family, caregivers, teachers, friends, co-workers and bosses.  And there are real and imagined voices of people we don’t know or like, and intellectually we know we shouldn’t pay them any attention.  These are voices of the media, our work nemesis or even that person in the supermarket who we thought looked at us funny.

People often ask me about tools and techniques to help them connect with and hear their own authentic voice versus the cacophony of others.  When the advice and guidance from others gets in the way of a decision you’re trying to make or a situation you desperately need to change, intentional reflection and conscious choice are tremendous tools to enhance your level of self-awareness.  Many wouldn’t even recognize their own voice among the others, so the first step is tuning into your core essence, unique your reason for being.

The five steps below will provide the clarity and strength to move you toward a real relationship with your core essence – your authentic self.  Using intentional reflection and conscious choice together, consistently, will result in transformational change.

This process comes right from my book LIES That Limit and it will do the trick.  It always work for me.

1.  Look within and analyze the situation you’ve decided to change.  Consider your contribution to your current condition.  Become familiar with the places in your mind where you are split, in discord.  Your mind may say one thing and your emotions another.  Take a relationship that just feels over.  I had one of those.  There were no objective, logical reasons for it not to work.  Yet, in my heart, I was simply finished with it.  My logical mind kept showing me all the reasons why I should stay involved.  Plus I could imagine what others would say about me ending this stable relationship.  Things like, “He’s a good man.”  “You’re being too critical – expecting too much.” “Do you really want to be back out there?”  Yet, emotionally, I was clear, I had to call it quits.  To end the war that raged in me, I worked to resolve my guilt and silence the shoulds and ought to’s in my head.

2.  Reflect on the content of your mind and emotions.  Notice what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling and what you’re saying to yourself and to others.  Look, sense and listen for the LIES – the Labels, Illusions, Excuses and Stories – that are playing out in your thoughts, feelings, conversations and ultimately your actions.  The resulting circumstances of your life give good hints about the content and conflict of your mind and emotions.

3.  Make conscious choices.  Understand your full range of options.  Look for ways to expand the spectrum of possibilities.  When you get your thoughts and feelings – your energy and attitude – in sync with your goal and intentions, solutions and opportunities will show up.  That’s the way the universe works.

4.  Test the sincerity and credibility of your commitment.  Are you fully committed to the choice you’ve made?  Or, does the goal just sound like a good idea, or seem like something you should do because others think it’s right for you?  Is there alignment between your stated goal or intention and your real thoughts, feelings and beliefs?  Do all of your conversations – the ones you think and the ones you articulate – match your goals?  If so, your energy, intentions, head and heart are operating on the same plane.  True self-determined commitment starts with congruent thoughts and feelings.

5.  Hold yourself accountable for achieving your goal.  When you feel yourself working counter to your intention – take full responsibility for getting back on track.  Blame no one, not even yourself.  There is no need to be self-critical or feel sorry for yourself.  If you have a day of failure or forgetting, frustration or fatigue, simply start over.  If your commitment is authentic – truly yours and no one else’s — you’ll find new and creative ways to be faithful to your Self and continue moving toward your goal – toward knowing and living a life that is consistent with the deep urgings of your Spirit.

Get to know the real you. 

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