Posts Tagged ‘Spirit of Purpose’

The LIES That Limit Blog Has Moved!

March 20th, 2013

Spirit of PurposeMy weekly LIES That Limit blog can now be found on my Spirit of Purpose website.  Visit for the weekly inspirational and motivational blog, as well as beautifully designed sharable quotes.

Office TalkOffice Talk, reports dedicated to surviving and thriving at work, are available at

And for daily inspiration, follow me on Facebook or Twitter!


Thank you for joining the Spirit of Purpose family!

Be well.

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Happy YOUR Year!

January 1st, 2013

2013 Going Forward ListLike every year in your life, 2013 is YOUR YEAR.  It’s sure to bring you multiple opportunities to live with a clear mind, a grateful heart, and look forward to the next steps on your journey with joy-filled anticipation.

The start of the new year is the perfect time for Intentional Reflection.  Purposefully look back on the year that has passed to set the stage for moving forward to the year ahead. Here are a few thoughts to guide your process.

Assess YOUR YEAR – 2012 – by making two lists:  a Grateful For and a Going Forward list

On your Grateful For list, note all the good you experienced, all the goals you accomplished; list everything for which you’re grateful.  Because we sometimes lose sight of how truly fortunate we are and how much good is ours, you very well may be surprised at the content and length of your list.  Your Grateful For list is a reminder of how wonder-full your life is everyday.

On your Going Forward list, include whatever you’re longing to experience; want to try your hand at, improve, strengthen or add to your repertoire and skill set.  Be honest with yourself.  Note only that which speaks to your heart’s desire and is calling for fulfillment.  Jot down one or two things you’re truly committed to adding to your Grateful For list, on or before December 31, 2013.  Let this year – your year – be the year you take steps to satisfy your deepest longings.  These longings are your Spirit and Purpose calling for attention and fulfillment.

As you move into your 2013, empower yourself with the knowledge that you are the creative and defining force in your life.  Through the beliefs you hold, the thoughts you think, the emotions and feelings you experience, and your daily behavior choices, you shape your life.  That being so, you have the uncontested ability and power to make your life more like you want it to be.

Intentional Reflection and Conscious Choice are tools that can help you identify self-limiting beliefs, release outdated patterns of behavior and make more effective choices – choices that result in greater self-awareness, personal power and success.  Intentional Reflection and Conscious Choice lead to Transformational Change that will help you live better, and more effectively interact with the people who look to you for trustworthy friendship and leadership

May your Grateful For list delight you.  May your Going Forward list honor the call of your Spirit and align with your Purpose.  May Intentional Reflection and Conscious Choice help you make your year one that touches your Spirit, speaks to your sense of Purpose and enhances your effectiveness in every area of your life.

You can learn more about the powerful possibilities of Intentional Reflection, Conscious Choice and Transformational Change in LIES That Limit:  Uncover the Truth of Who You Really Are.

Happy YOUR Year!

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Holiday Greetings!

December 24th, 2012


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How To Give Yourself the Gift of Change This Year

December 18th, 2012


I was coaching a man recently, and his reaction to the call for change was classic.

To Jack, changing meant he wouldn’t be the person he used to be.  About that, we agreed.  He wouldn’t be his old self any longer.

As he contemplated change, his concerns began to surface. “I don’t want to lose myself.  I mean, I’m me.  I’ve been this way all of my life.  Anything else would feel phony and awkward.”

Jack also admitted that he was concerned about how others would see him and respond to the changes.   He worried that he wouldn’t be seen as credible.  “Who’s going to believe it?”

I offered the thought that changing wouldn’t make him less of who he is.  He’d become more.  He’d have access to more of his whole self which includes parts and behavior patterns he knows well, parts and potential that are less familiar, and skill and abilities that are underdeveloped.

“Jack, any time you want to stop using the new skill, you can.  At will, you can go back to your old way because whatever you change – a behavior, a mindset, a belief – it’s still yours.  You can call it up and begin using it again, any time you choose.  In a very real sense, you haven’t lost anything, you’ve added something.”

Jack breathed a sigh of relief.  “That makes perfect sense.  It seems so simple when you say it that way.  I’m in.  I’ll give it a try.”

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of change.   Become more of who you really are.

Make a decision to let go of LIES That Limit your freedom of choice, your effectiveness at work, your success in relationships, your willingness to take action and make changes for your own good.

Try something you’ve been wanting to do.  Learn a skill that intrigues you.  Give up a habit that no longer serves you.  Adopt a new behavior or perspective that will help you live better now.

When you add new experiences, beliefs and behaviors to your repertoire, you expand your capacity, broaden your range of capability, and deepen your awareness of your limitless potential.  Emboldened with a new skill set and perspective, you’re equipped to do more, to embody more of who you really are.  You take another step in the direction of wholeness.

So, what about you?  What changes are calling to you – changes that might help you gain access to more of your whole self?

My personal answer is simple.  I have two commitments:

  1. I’m going to give myself a morning and an afternoon practice of taking ten deep, conscious breaths with the goals of relaxing, clearing my mind and energizing my body.
  2. At least four days a week this winter (I walk during the summer, happily, but avoid the winter winds), I’m going to walk three miles a day.  Walking helps me to inhabit my body, work out the kinks, strengthen my legs, lungs and heart, build physical energy and facilitate mental clarity.  I deserve these good gifts all year-round.

Embrace your change – be it large or small – and make 2013 the year you become more of who you really are.

Happy Holidays!

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What Will You Give This Holiday Season? Experiences or Things?

December 4th, 2012

This idea of giving experiences rather than things is evergreen, and especially relevant this time of year when so many of us honor the spirit of gift giving.

On a recent flight I sat next to an interesting, energetic woman, Sue Ann.  She and her husband were headed off to explore another location on their bucket list:  the beaches and vistas of St. Thomas.

“Seeing all of our beautiful country is a goal we set a long time ago,” she said.

Easy to talk with, we conversed the entire flight from Miami to St. Thomas.  Sue Ann told me about her early life growing up in rural Arkansas; her career as an ICU nurse; they way she and her husband partnered to build his business and financial security; the way they raised their son; the pleasure they take in their two grandchildren; and the way they spend their lives today, including the upcoming holiday.  She lit up when she told me the story of her family’s Christmas tradition.

She began by explaining, “We always gave Joe everything he needed – lots of love, a comfortable home where he could bring his friends, clothes, a few toys, a good education and our time and attention.  But, from the time he was little, at Christmas, on his birthday and other important occasions, we didn’t give him toys or more clothes, we tried to do things with him – things that would create memories and stories he could tell.  A lot of what we did didn’t even cost much.”

Sue Ann and her husband, Tom, gave Joe experiences instead of things.  They chose the longer lasting, more enduring option of shared time and involvement that makes memories that can last a lifetime.

She talked about trips to the city, the zoo, historical sites and museums.  Camping trips to beautiful locations.  Plays and concerts.  County fairs and carnivals.  Fishing trips.  Amusement parks.  Botanical gardens.  Skating, skiing, hiking.  Sporting events – community and professional.  Touring other cities.  Visiting national monuments.  As an added treat, on many occasions they allowed Joe to bring along friends.

Her family tradition fits perfectly with my belief that gifts of experiences are more memorable and impactful than things, particularly things that don’t fulfill a specific need.  I’ve written about this giving gifts vs. things before. I was even interviewed on TV about it.

This long-held view – that experiences are better than things – was validated by research published in a Psychology Today article that suggested we get greater satisfaction out of “experiences” than “things.”  It referred to a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology that said people have an easier time choosing between experiences than they do choosing from a variety of material items.

If giving experience is not a part of your holiday and birthday tradition, consider adding it.  You can give experiences instead of things or do both.  Experiences create shared memories and give people stories to tell.  They live longer in the minds and emotions of recipients than things do.

This is the season of love, hope, peace and generosity.  I hope yours is safe and joyous.


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NEW Website for Spirit of Purpose Community

July 10th, 2012

Today, I’m happy to announce, we’ve launched the new Spirit of Purpose™ website.

This new dynamic website is where our community can come together and learn more about how they can Live Better Now!   It is a place where you’ll find encouragement to make conscious choices that will lead to authentic, lasting growth.

The Spirit of Purpose™ mission is to build a vibrant, active, passionate community of people who are committed to Self-awareness, Self-acceptance and Self-mastery as a path to a better life.  Guided by a process of intentional reflection and conscious choice, we support you in making changes that transform your life – changes aligned with your deeper self.  Your real Self.

You become a Spirit of Purpose™ when you take your blinders off and lift the veil of LIES™ (Labels, Illusion, Excuses and Stories) in your life.  This is the topic of my first book “LIES That Limit: Uncover the Truth Of Who You Really Are” which is the initial step on the never-ending journey to becoming your authentic Self, knowing and embodying your truth.

The new website will host the same great blogs that have been available on the LIES That Limit™ site.  We invite you to subscribe via RSS, Facebook or Twitter so you won’t miss any of the inspiration shared daily.  And we welcome guest bloggers interested in helping others through telling the stories of their life lessons learned.  We invite you to share how you let go of limiting LIES™ and became the Spirit of Purpose you were born to be.

The Spirit of Purpose™ website also offers a toolkit filled with life changing opportunities – the newest of which is “Sacred Circles.”  This one-on-one or group program opens the door to knowing and being your real Self.  Your SACRED Self!  Take advantage of this rare opportunity and join other committed seekers, all walking their path toward Self-realization.

Core Energetics therapy and personal coaching are two additional tools that will help you live and lead with a Spirit of Purpose™.  Contact us at to schedule your consultation and take the next step on your path to wholeness.

Please take a look around our new website and let us know what you like, and how we can improve it to help you reach your goals.  It’s a working, changing site for a growing and thriving community of Spirits with Purpose.  We welcome your feedback!

In honor of your limitless possibilities,


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I See Auras. Do You?

May 8th, 2012

More and more, science is catching up with TRUTH and is able to provide evidence and explanation for what has always existed, been true throughout the ages, was known by the sages and is understood by many today.

Since my late twenties, I’ve been able to see auras – that luminous glow around people’s body.  To me, the aura is evidence of the energetic field, a manifestation of Spirit.

It’s the most beautiful thing to witness the light that emanates from people.  To watch it shimmer and grow bigger and brighter in the presence of good feelings, loving thought and positive excitement.  In contrast, when a person is trapped in LIES that limit their knowledge and understanding of who they really are, the once bright light shrinks in size and grows dull and dim.

Do you see auras?  Do you believe in the reality of auras?  Have you ever had your aura read or worked on?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, I just read an article in Science Daily that will interest you.  It’s called, “Synesthesia May Explain Healers Claims of Seeing People’s ‘Aura.’”  The article indicates that scientists have been able to identify regions in the brain of certain people that are “intensely interconnected.” The regions are responsible for processing a multiplicity of sensory stimuli that makes seeing auras possible.

While Spirit can’t be defined or confined, science now has technology and language to describe its affect on the brain.  Such information may be helpful to those who need measurable “proof” of the existence of the Life Force that animates bodies for a time.

The evidence of the presence of Spirit is everywhere.  I find that fact so exciting that I’m sure my aura is glowing brightly right now!


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How to Connect With You Inner Wisdom

April 24th, 2012

In this month’s O Magazine, Oprah asked a number of readers, “What do you appreciate most about getting older?”  While I enjoyed each woman’s response, Azadeh Reza Mercado said, “Finding, hearing and listening to my inner voice.”

Her response reminded me of last week’s blog about hearing your true voice, not the myriad of voices in your head – your mother’s, your 1st grade teacher’s, your older sister’s, the minister or rabbi’s, your girlfriends’, or the thing you read most recently – but the truth that comes from the deepest part of who you really are.  Like Ms. Mercado, I am thankful for the ever-present voice within that communicates with me.

In a recent conversation with a client, I said, “I treasure the clarity and peace I receive from hearing from the wise one within me.”

She then asked, “How do you know it’s your inner voice and not just some other voice in your head?”  Her question made me think.

I told her that the voice of my inner self – my guide and counselor, my higher self – always leaves me feeling calm, clear and certain.

Truly, for me, it’s that simple.  When I connect with my inner guide, I shift from unrest to feeling at ease.  I morph from confusion about what I feel, think or need to do or say into clear confident being.  All the tension in my shoulders disappears.  The dull ache in my head evaporates.  The tightness and churn in my gut settles down.  I breathe a full, deep, unrestricted breath.  In this way, my body is a good barometer.  It recognizes and accepts the powerful truth and wisdom of my higher self.

Maybe you’ve experienced this after turning down an invitation to something that you just didn’t want to attend, or you found a creative solution to a nagging problem.  Or maybe the calm came after you stood your ground where you’d normally give in.  The result – you got just what you wanted, what you needed.

The wise one within you is continually trying to connect with you, to serve you.  She wants to ease your burdens, answer your questions, guide you through tough decisions and help you find the easiest path to your next destination.

Like Azadeh Reza Mercado do you value and trust what you hear from within?  If you don’t have a solid relationship with your inner self, if you aren’t sure you’d know her if she came to your front door or if you’ve never considered this question, there are easy steps you can take to test the waters.

The first critical step is acknowledging that you want to.  Then, once a day, or once a week, take the time to interact and engage.  Ask questions to which you’d like answers.  Start with a simple question like, “How should I approach my co-worker/friend/mother-in-law about an issue I’m having.”  Then, look and listen for a response.  The answer may come through a book, another person, a dream, a sudden knowing, etc.  Or say to your higher self, “I’m here to listen.  Speak to me.”

Then, sit and wait patiently.  Words, images, feelings, ideas, thoughts will come into your awareness.  The more you listen for and accept the messages that come to you, the easier it is to hear her whispers.

Listening and hearing takes practice.  In order to trust what you hear and receive, a leap of faith may be required, particularly early on.  You may find that you have to decide to suspend disbelief and, through an act of faith, accept that what you’re hearing is credible and trustworthy.

Ask, listen and trust what you receive. Consciously choose to connect with your inner voice, your internal and eternal wisdom.


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How to Hear Your Own Voice Among the Many Others In Your Head

April 17th, 2012

We live with so many voices in our heads.  They are voices of people who we know and trust – family, caregivers, teachers, friends, co-workers and bosses.  And there are real and imagined voices of people we don’t know or like, and intellectually we know we shouldn’t pay them any attention.  These are voices of the media, our work nemesis or even that person in the supermarket who we thought looked at us funny.

People often ask me about tools and techniques to help them connect with and hear their own authentic voice versus the cacophony of others.  When the advice and guidance from others gets in the way of a decision you’re trying to make or a situation you desperately need to change, intentional reflection and conscious choice are tremendous tools to enhance your level of self-awareness.  Many wouldn’t even recognize their own voice among the others, so the first step is tuning into your core essence, unique your reason for being.

The five steps below will provide the clarity and strength to move you toward a real relationship with your core essence – your authentic self.  Using intentional reflection and conscious choice together, consistently, will result in transformational change.

This process comes right from my book LIES That Limit and it will do the trick.  It always work for me.

1.  Look within and analyze the situation you’ve decided to change.  Consider your contribution to your current condition.  Become familiar with the places in your mind where you are split, in discord.  Your mind may say one thing and your emotions another.  Take a relationship that just feels over.  I had one of those.  There were no objective, logical reasons for it not to work.  Yet, in my heart, I was simply finished with it.  My logical mind kept showing me all the reasons why I should stay involved.  Plus I could imagine what others would say about me ending this stable relationship.  Things like, “He’s a good man.”  “You’re being too critical – expecting too much.” “Do you really want to be back out there?”  Yet, emotionally, I was clear, I had to call it quits.  To end the war that raged in me, I worked to resolve my guilt and silence the shoulds and ought to’s in my head.

2.  Reflect on the content of your mind and emotions.  Notice what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling and what you’re saying to yourself and to others.  Look, sense and listen for the LIES – the Labels, Illusions, Excuses and Stories – that are playing out in your thoughts, feelings, conversations and ultimately your actions.  The resulting circumstances of your life give good hints about the content and conflict of your mind and emotions.

3.  Make conscious choices.  Understand your full range of options.  Look for ways to expand the spectrum of possibilities.  When you get your thoughts and feelings – your energy and attitude – in sync with your goal and intentions, solutions and opportunities will show up.  That’s the way the universe works.

4.  Test the sincerity and credibility of your commitment.  Are you fully committed to the choice you’ve made?  Or, does the goal just sound like a good idea, or seem like something you should do because others think it’s right for you?  Is there alignment between your stated goal or intention and your real thoughts, feelings and beliefs?  Do all of your conversations – the ones you think and the ones you articulate – match your goals?  If so, your energy, intentions, head and heart are operating on the same plane.  True self-determined commitment starts with congruent thoughts and feelings.

5.  Hold yourself accountable for achieving your goal.  When you feel yourself working counter to your intention – take full responsibility for getting back on track.  Blame no one, not even yourself.  There is no need to be self-critical or feel sorry for yourself.  If you have a day of failure or forgetting, frustration or fatigue, simply start over.  If your commitment is authentic – truly yours and no one else’s — you’ll find new and creative ways to be faithful to your Self and continue moving toward your goal – toward knowing and living a life that is consistent with the deep urgings of your Spirit.

Get to know the real you. 

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Is Donald Trump Happier Than You?

April 3rd, 2012

How about insanely rich Oprah?  Or always upbeat Kelly Ripa?  Or devilishly handsome George Clooney?

I must admit, I haven’t actually asked any of them how happy they are, but I’m willing to go out on a limb and say YES.  But it’s not for the reasons you might be thinking.  It’s not because they have so much money that they don’t have to worry about where the next mortgage payment is coming from.  Or because they jet set around the world on a whim or always look like they belong on the cover of a magazine.

They’re happy because they’re doing what they LOVE!  What they were born to do.  It’s what they can’t imagine not doing, because if they stopped, they’d die.  None of the folks who keep company with Donald, Oprah, Kelly or George could ever spend the mountains of money thrown at them.  I’d guess that most people doing what they LOVE don’t even know how much money they have because it has ceased to be an issue.

George doesn’t make movies because of how much money he’ll make.  He makes them because he thinks he’ll enjoy playing that part.  Oprah could have continued on her path to syndication riches, but she decided to take a giant leap of faith by launching OWN.  And if you believe the critics, it’s not coming as easily as she thought it would.  But my money is on Oprah because she LOVES what she does so much, that she will make it work – even if that means accepting and learning from failure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah…those are TV stars, business moguls, people who’s lives you might not be able to relate to or learn from, but here are a few less extravagant examples.  Starting with me.  I was born a poor black child … oh wait a minute, that was Steve Martin in “The Jerk.”  But really, I was born a poor black child  — in the south to parents who’s beginnings were even humbler than mine.  My love of listening to and guiding others to find their purpose has become a way of life for me.  There’s a place in the world for people who need what I do and I’ve been able to turn it into a very successful career.  First in corporate HR, then in corporate coaching and now in personal growth.   It was who I was born to be.

The husband of a dear friend of mine walked away from a high paying job – even though they had a new mortgage and two small children.  He took a giant leap of faith.  Casting away the safety net he ventured out to find the job he wanted.  Crazy right?  But he followed his dream and his heart and now has accepted a position that’s tailor-made for him.  Think he’s as happy as Donald Trump today?

My book LIES That Limit is filled with stories about people who denied themselves the pursuit of their dreams and have since shed the limiting LIES to follow their hearts.  So I ask you, who’s dream are you actually living?  Even if you’re living from paycheck to paycheck, why not be poor doing something you LOVE?   Where’s the risk?

Doing something you LOVE makes the inevitable obstacles much easier to overcome.   It might take some creativity to find a way to get paid for what you LOVE, but you’re already using your creative energy to do what someone else thinks is worthwhile.   It will likely take several tries and maybe a failure or two.  The stories we hear about overnight sensations are rarely — if ever — true.  The difference is that LOVE carried them through the tough times, the hours of rehearsing, the years of schooling, the rejections and the hurtful doubting of others.

There are many things that come along and take our eyes off the prize.  And we devise solutions that seem to be expedient and but they’re only temporary.  The “I’ll take any job to pay my bills” is a trap – one that keeps you bound to a life you despise and one that likely furthers the dreams of someone else.

That voice calling you toward your true purpose is leading you to the ultimate prize – the only prize that will give you the lasting joy you seek.

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